A villanelle
I like villanelles. They rhyme, and I have a structure to follow. They are like word puzzles, and puzzles are my thing. Here’s one I wrote from a challenge in Writers’ Forum to compose a villanelle on the theme of learning about poetry.
Diagnosing Lame Lyrics
The words connect, but do they flow like poetry? Or merely verse? How can I tell? How will I know? I’m not poetic. Does it show? Poetry? Doggerel? Or worse? The words connect, but do they flow? I swap my phrases to and fro. Are those lines tight, or merely terse? How can I tell? How will I know? Still plodding on, the verses grow. That line scans better in reverse. The words connect, but do they flow? I tend each limping, word-filled row as hopeful as a hospice nurse. How can I help? How will I know? Tomorrow’s fresh re-read will throw up tortured lines: the rhymer’s curse. The words make sense, but do they flow? How can I tell? How will I know?
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I wonder, will I ever know?
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Writing Wrinkles, and Random Ramblings 
I think this is deeper than what I’m at first reading, or am I reading too much into this?
The introspection is great all the way through. Poetry has never been my thing. Have never been much good at it. My mind just doesn’t work that way.
When I’m in a read and critique room and somebody is reading poetry I feel that it’s sacrilegious to critique it. It’s such a unique styled and every author has their own style. To pick apart someone’s poem is not good karma if you ask me.
All I have to say with this one is, I love the introspective style and play on words. Good going, Cathy!
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glad you liked it. I just don’t ‘get’ most blank verse. Especially my attempts
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I too am in awe of those who can write poetry. The art of a poem that not only uses beautiful and considered words, but in that use, can make the reader experience many and varied emotions is amazing. Whether it makes you laugh or cry, question or believe, happy or sad the fact it reaches another human beings emotions and feelings is an art in itself. Regardless of whether the poet considers it to be mere verse, doggeral or even limerick it is a skill I envy and appreciate.
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whenever I attempt to compose a blank verse, it nearly always ends up rhyming.
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In other words, what you’re saying is, you’re such a genius that rhyming comes so natural to you? If that’s the case, maybe you should try rap!
When I was sixteen I wrote something. Prepare to be amazed!
Oh, Dear Lord,
Please hear me pray
You’ve kept me safe all through the day
Now, Dear Lord,
As night goes on
Please keep me safe until the dawn
©1974 Kelly Jeanne
I wrote this poem as a more hopeful alternative to:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
The part that says, ‘If I should DIE before I wake’ was so depressing to me.
Here’s one that I penned a few months ago. I believe it sums up my life perfectly:
From the womb
To the tomb
And in between gloom
©2022 Kelly Jeanne
This was how I felt at the time.
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Oh no – it doesn’t come naturally. It takes ages, but – however much I try – I’m not happy with it till it rhymes.
I prefer your alternative to ‘now I lay me down’. The rhythm’s more upbeat and it’s altogether less gooey.
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Very good, Cathy my poetic writing is non existent.
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well, I don’t have a poetic soul… but I like rhyming. It’s like solving a word puzzle.
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I love this villanelle. They are hard to write, but I love word puzzles, too. I’m not good at them, though. Your verses flow beautifully and make sense, too! win-win!
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Glad you liked it. I’ve just discovered a rondel, which also repeats lines. I’ll have to explore those…
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I’ve experimented with both of them. I’ll have to publish a few and see what you think. 🙂
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Turns out you are poetic and I very much enjoyed the villanelle.
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I don’t have a poetic bone in my body (which is why I don’t risk blank verse) but I like to rhyme. I’m glad you enjoyed the villanelle. I’ve just discovered the rondel… I’ll be having a go at that soon 🙂
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