Christmas Wrapping

Here’s a previous years’ poem that returned to me this morning while wrapping hubby’s present.

While one hand holds the paper,
t'other's groping for the tape. Her
goodwill fades as sticky tape escapes her lurches.
She lets go the gift, to travel
to the tape that caused the hassle
and the perfect wrap unravels.
Curses!

Christmas present trapping
while the other side’s unwrapping
and the tape is strapping fingers to the box,
is a skill she’s never mastered.
Disaster!
She’s plastered the label
to the table. Hubby mocks.

But he won’t wield the scissors
to help her do the business.
And as weeks fly by to Christmas, pressures rise
to wrap every festive offering
for her children and their offspring
—whether fake bling or the real thing—by yuletide.

When they’re stacked under the tree,
looking higgly piggledy,
and the grandkids come to see
and anticipate with glee, tree-lights winter-twinkling.
They won’t go in Santa’s sack
because the corners come unwrapped,
but it’s worth her aching back
when her grandchildren feedback: Gran’s look… interesting.

###

Merry Christmas

###

It’s getting nearer…

Copyright © 2023 cathy-cade.com – All rights reserved.

9 thoughts on “Christmas Wrapping

  1. Ha ha ha, I’m feeling incredibly accomplished as I have finished my wrapping. Ok it doesn’t quite look as beautifully done as you see on the telly with perfect corners and beautiful ribbon bows. But the presents are fully covered and the correct labels are on the right presents, so as far as I am concerned I have done brilliantly! Besides they will be ripped to shreds in seconds come Christmas morning.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Dogs are bad enough. I used to wrap parcels on the floor when the kids were in bed – I don’t know how I did that with the three or four dogs I had back then. I’m not too nimble on the floor thee days, so at least the dogs are out of the equation… but cats can jump onto the table!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You might get a kick out of this. I make a point of reading this every Christmas time!

          Wrapping Presents 101 for Cat Owners

          1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

          2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.

          3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.

          4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

          5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

          6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

          7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.

          8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.

          9. Remove present from bag.

          10. Remove cat from bag.

          11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

          12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

          13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.

          14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore the paper.

          15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.

          16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.

          17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don’t reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.

          18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.

          19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

          20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

          21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.

          22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

          23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat’s enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.

          24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.

          25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.

          26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

          27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

          28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.

          29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.

          30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.

          31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)

          32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.

          33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.

          34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

          35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.

          36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

          37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.

          38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver’s face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.

          39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.

          Thanks to Mary Campbell

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Step 3 is the first mistake.
            Ribbon is more trouble than it’s worth. Especially the stiff kind they sell for Christmas wrapping. (I have enough problems with sticky tape.)
            If you make the mistake of following step 3, learn from mistake and miss out step 5.

            Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.