Further to my thoughts on contradictory statements, here’s one I wrote earlier, kindly posted by Little Old Lady Comedy blog
I remember when Beth started work in our department. I was smitten from the first, but I thought I had no chance. I confided in my grandparents; I’ve taken may problems to them since I was small.
Gran looked me up and down. She peered over her spectacles and told me I could smarten myself up a bit. She had thought my last girlfriend a bit of a scruff and I suppose my standards had slipped.
According to Gran, first impressions count.
But Gramps said, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”
’S funny he should mention books, ’cos Beth and I had been comparing books we read in the lunch break. I like sci-fi; Beth’s into detective novels. We have different tastes in music too.
Gran said that was fine, because opposites attract.
But Gramps reckoned it was birds of a feather that flocked together. “Just look at…
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