Domestic Black Holes

blue universe

Does anyone else have a black hole in their house that leads to another dimension? The kind where you drop an earring and think nothing of it while you fix the other one because you heard it land near your feet.

It can’t have rolled anywhere because there’s a wall there and a cabinet here and carpet below – no gappy floorboards.

And you never see it again.

When you looked it wasn’t there… although you crawled around for ages on hands and knees with a torch and your new super-specs.

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My black holes follow me around. In our first family home there was one in the bedroom and one in the hallway, near the cellar door.

There’s a bedroom black hole in this house too, but yesterday’s disappearance was in the kitchen – a frozen strawberry.

It hadn’t defrosted much, but they chop easily if I spear the thing with the point of the knife to show I mean business, and keep my fingers out of the way.

This one objected. A chunk shot off the worktop.

chopped strawberry
Photo by Taner Soyler on Pexels.com

The kitchen floor is tiled – no gappy boards and no rug. Just cupboard bases to the floor on three sides, with a galley of the same down the kitchen.

I still haven’t found that chunk of strawberry. Somewhere it’s going soggy, then slimy, then mouldy and green. Maybe in another dimension.

I searched the worktops in case I misjudged its trajectory… under the microwave, the toaster…

I swung a broom handle under the cooker – the only floor level gap that end of the kitchen.

I found dog biscuits and a lot of fluff.

I imagined a mouse nipping out to whisk the strawberry away when I wasn’t looking. But I don’t think we have indoor mice here (at the moment).

mouse with long tail

Back in the aforementioned family home (Edwardian and lofty) I used to imagine an elf nipping out from under the cellar door and whipping things away.

(In that house, a mouse would have been all too likely, so I preferred not to go there.)

I named my imaginary elf, Nick.

When asked what happened to the other earring, I would have said, “Nick nicked it”.

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“ ’Ere, my name in’t Nick. I’m Robin.”

“You’re Robbing Robin then.”

“ An elf’s gotta live innit? You shouldn’t be begrudgin’ me the odd bit o’ silver or scrap of food.”

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I wonder if elves are any good at seeing off mice?

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Emmie Elf

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Find this post with more pictures at Commaful.

(I think it looks better there – especially the mice.)

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Do you have black holes in your house?

Or do you name them differently?

16 thoughts on “Domestic Black Holes

  1. Haha mine resides in the washing machine and eats small items such as socks and dainty undergarments. I have a dog who is also a blackhole when it comes to fallen food. Thanks for sharing this fun story!

    Like

  2. I seem to carry my black holes with me. Usually, now I take a relaxed view, mostly if I put something down or drop it Iand then can’t find it, I use something else that will do the job. Eventually, nearly always, the said object will return, sometimes, reappearing to where it was lost often somewhere else entirely. My Father in Law used to say the devil was sitting on it or perhaps it’s just a naughty elf.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We had actual holes by the fireplace in each room of the family home, where gas pipes came through for lighting the fires. We also had a cellar to half the house with a crawlspace under the rest of it, although the only members of the family small enough to crawl under the floors were our Jack Russells.
      And the mice
      I stuffed wire wool around the gas pipes (they still worked) to keep the mice from come up them.
      (I was terrified when one of our terriers was pregnant that she would crawl under there tfrom behind the celllar steps to have her pups. For those last weeks nobody was allowed to open the cellar door unless the dogs were safely elsewhere, and the mice had free rein of the cellar.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My daughter’s apartment in NYC had space around the plumbing pipes. The mice had a heyday running up and down into her space. My husband finally put that spray foam around all the spaces after she put her hand into her winter coat for the first time that fall and found a nest of baby mice.

        Liked by 1 person

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